YEL 034: Anxiety, Guilt, Planning & Eating S*&T

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  • September 8, 2017
YEL 034 Anxiety

This episode has a major theme on planning and productivity, and what happens if you don’t make either a priority. I’ll be talking about anxiety and guilt (and how easy it is to create but also remove from our life), as well as the consequences we face when making any decision.

Firstly, I’ll give you as much as I can in this episode but I could talk on this subject for days on end (no joke). So, in the theme of Your Exceptional Life, I will stick to the 8 areas of life, how I’ve planned this week – how some things have not gone to plan, and how spontaneity (or expecting the unexpected) is an important part of any plan!

If this episode leaves you wanting more, I encourage you to complete my free goal-planning short course Mediocre To Magnificent. People in over 60 countries around the globe have completed this course and you’ll find the anxiety and overwhelm melting away with each step you take.

Life Purpose – Reduce Anxiety by writing the script for your life

As I’ve mentioned in previous episodes I like to work on 2 or 3 projects in my professional life at a time. This week the focus has been on

  • The Wellness Couch and planning events for 2018 (watch this space). In exciting news, The Wellness Guys podcast returns to the airwaves this week which I know thousands of people will be excited by!
  • Upgrading my online programs (watch this space)
  • Working with mentoring clients. For some reason this was a very popular week for mentoring (was it the full moon?). If you don’t have a mentor, are looking for one, and would like a free 15-min strategy session with myself (pending availability) click here, enter your details and see what I have free in my calendar.

But I also took stock this week to review what had occurred so far in 2017 and what I wanted to create by the end of the year.

2017 Goals

If you haven’t set goals for 2017, guess what? It’s not too late! Seriously – there over 100 days remaining in the year and you’d be amazed at what you could create in such a short space of time.

Again, I would recommend completing my free short-course Mediocre To Magnificent to create your goals for the rest of the year.

One of my favourite quotes on planning is from Alfred Hitchcock.

“A great movie needs three things – a great script, a great script and a great script.”

My take on it is this – an exceptional life needs three things – a great script, a great script and a great script.

If you don’t have a script for your year, your month or your day, I know a few things about you. Firstly, life is ruling you rather than you ruling life. You’re at the beck and call of others, busy as all get out because you’re not sure what to say yes and no to, so you say yes to most things (not to mention experience decision fatigue on a daily basis).

On top of that, you feel varying degrees of anxiety and guilt. Anxious about the future (all the things you have to do in the day) and guilty about the past (all the things you didn’t get done that day).

A script for your day (also known as planning your day) is the antidote to these disempowering feelings.

Movement – Habit & Movement throughout the day

It was again all about push ups, jogging and yoga for me this week. My chest and shoulders have been feeling quite tight, so I did this yoga sequence to help the muscles out.

If you haven’t heard me say it before, exceptional movement begins with defining HOW you love to move. Whatever works for YOU!

On top of that, regular movement is key – you can’t just exercise in the morning and be sedentary the rest of the day. Take a 5 minute walk, make it a policy to walk and talk whilst on the phone, do a push up challenge or just something that gets you moving throughout the day. In other words, do whatever you can to avoid sitting (because you’ll naturally fill that quota anyway).

Social Life – Expecting the unexpected

For the first time in as long as I can remember (on a weekday at least), I was forced to wait a considerable time for my coffee at Table View. It was Tuesday, and for some reason the place was pumping (you would have thought it a public holiday or weekend).

The productive “I’ve got work to do” mindset got a bit fidgety, but that thankfully lasted only a few seconds. Why? Also waiting for a coffee was a friend Callie and her sister. They had got chatting to a couple, Kim & Rob, who were up on holiday from Melbourne, and we all sat there chatting away like old friends until our coffee arrived.   – Rob is a hairdresser (link to his website?).

By the time my almond latte was ready I didn’t want to leave the conversation! Rob is a hairdresser (link to his website?), cuts the coach of my beloved AFL teams hair, and is a mad Richmond fan. With the Tigers in the finals, we could have spoken for hours! Waited 15 minutes for coffee – completely random. It was Tuesday morning.

The reason I bring this up is this – do you have the flexibility in your day for wonderful unexpected social engagements such as this? Do you live in a community where this type of random conversation is likely to happen? In other words, do you love where you live to the point where you are happy to (even look forward to) meeting new people. If you on’t want to know the people in your community, you have two options –

  1. Find a way to love them
  2. Leave

An exceptional community is based on love and respect for one another, and if that’s not something that effortlessly comes through you in your current environment, then you’ve got some thinking to do. I recorded a podcast on this very topic with Damian on 100 Not Out (be careful though – one listener emailed me months after this episode and shared her story of moving her entire family interstate).

Nutrition – Sipper cup

Ever since Plastic Free July swept through I’ve been considering my contribution to the landfill problem we currently have. I’ll put my hand up, I’m no environmental crusader, but I do like to use my common sense as much as humanly possible. I estimated that I was buying approx 10 hot drinks per week (only ever in a takeaway cup as I prefer the little sipper). That equates to over 500 per year or 5000 per decade.

After seeing infographics like these time and again, and seemingly everyone in the community talking about it, I decided I actually WANTED a reusable sipper cup. If you Sipper Cup – 5 x 50. 250. Let’s say 300. 3000 per decade.

My new mantra before hopping in the car would have to change from “phone, wallet, keys” to “phone, wallet, keys, coffee cup”!

A week later, I haven’t forgotten it once and am enjoying the feeling that I’m doing my little bit for waste.

Love & Relationships – Quality time

It’s fair to say Sarah and I haven’t enjoyed the amount of quality time together this week that we would normally like. Although we have enjoyed great family time (see this happy pic taken at Wategos on Fathers Day), having quality 1:1 time has been a little harder to come by.

Fathers Day

You could easily say that’s been the case for the last few months, as we sit in a pretty intense phase of family life.  It’s a phase of life and YES, we will get some priority time shortly but here’s the deal …

We’ve chosen this life, and particularly the choices we make around raising our children. And whatever decisions you make, there’s one thing which society doesn’t talk about enough. You must be prepared to accept the consequences of your decisions. You choose the SHIT sandwiches. When you’re living to your highest purpose you choose the challenges consciously. When you do NOT consciously write the script, the challenges CHOOSE YOU to wake you up and force some growth on you.

In other words, every decision you make has consequences, which I like to sometimes call a shit sandwich. When you’re living to your highest purpose you choose the challenges consciously (and the shit sandwich). When you do NOT consciously write the script, the challenges CHOOSE YOU to wake you up and force some growth on you.

Growth – Up For A Chat ep 248

I listened to this great episode of Up For A Chat this week and I was so glad I did. The girls were answering a question from a listener – and the theme was “I do everything right and still, bad stuff happens”. In this listeners case, she’d prepared her body for 12 months before conceiving, only to have a miscarriage at 11 weeks.

She felt like a fraud for even embarking on this approach, thinking that it will be foolproof. Life can be very humbling, that’s for sure!

Wealth – Reduce Anxiety by creating habits

Failing to plan for wealth is another great source of anxiety. To me, exceptional wealth falls into the same bracket as exceptional movement at the moment. This is the same as

It’s all about self-awareness and sticking to the habit that create exceptional wealth. Spending less than you earn, investing the different, apportioning a % to debt demolition (if you have bad debt) and so on. For me, my focus is constantly checking in on the financial statements of the Pearce Family – that being the value of our Assets, Liabilities, Income and Expenses and updating them whenever something changes.

I can’t recommend this clarifying exercise enough. If this is all new to you, see the resources I list at the bottom of this page (link to previous episodes).

Soul / Spirit / Faith – My before bed ritual

It’s not quite a habit yet, however I’m enjoying my evening ritual before I go to bed. It’s 5 minutes of gratitude followed by 5 minutes of visualisation and I believe is another strong factor in reducing any anxiety (about the future) or guilt (about the past). I listen to this playlist , run through my day or certain areas of my life which I’m thankful for, and once the warm and fuzzies hit I begin visualising a goal or future event or area of life I’m working on. It’s the last thing I do before going to bed (I’ve brushed my teeth, turned off the lights, etc).

Questions? Do let me know, and I’ll do my best to answer them on the podcast. Email me or connect with me on Facebook, Twitter & Instagram. And as always, share this with your friends and family or anyone you know who’s faces anxiety, guilt, or is simply determined to live their exceptional life.

Have a sensational week!